Showing posts with label persiflage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label persiflage. Show all posts

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

History Buffs Applaud Raid

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On a metal detecting forum near you, the "responsible" tekkies ("passionately intersted in history") have reacted to yesterday's news of the seizure of 900 looted artefacts from a Norfolk home with joy. Bazza Thugwit, of Billericay for example writes (21 may 2013):
Well caught! People who handle dodgy artefacts should get what they deserve. Pity these guys got away with it for so long. 
Sam Scabmitts (21 may 2013) agrees:
Lock 'em up, that's what I say! 
The forum's moderator Ivor Eraysor adds:
the British Museum was right to shop these guys the moment they spotted them, apparently this was through one of the 'other' metal detecting forums, if these guys had been writing about what they were doing over here, they'd have been banned immediately and the police informed. We refuse to allow our forum to be used for discussions of anything of that nature. Be warned. 
 The reader need not try following the links, they do not work because there never were any such posts. The whole matter of one of their number in Northern Ireland going out there without a permit and thus metal detecting illegally has been skipped over on most detecting forums this morning. The whole issue of a metal detectorists's family home in Norfolk being raided and an entire collection of items seized is not mentioned. There has been no discussion of the fact that the Northern Irish guy ("only interested in the history?") was reportedly passing on masses of objects to the Norfolk guy. Why would he do that?  Why would the latter accumulate a whole load of stuff which he'd not found himself while "researching local history"? There are no anecdotes about how Thugwit "always suspected that **** was up to summat" and was a strange guy, and that he'd "never give his hand to him at a club dig". There are in fact a number of elements to this story which to my mind any normal group of enthusiasts (and especially self-proclaimed "responsible ones") would be interest themselves in and be discussing with alacrity. So why is there instead a conspiracy of silence about this notable and interesting case?
We know for a fact that metal detectors were used,” said Dr Ned Kelly, keeper of antiquities with the National Museum of Ireland, where the items will be displayed to the media tomorrow.

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Historic Discovery by the PAS, An Unknown Pope



In their search for objects made of more precious metal, most treasure hunters tend to ignore archaeological artefacts made of lead discovered. Metal detectorist Alun Tussle from Gaer Diffymawr, Gwent was only prevented from putting a small disc of lead in his scrap pouch when he saw two faces peering out of the mud while metal detecting a Roman site in Caerleon near his home. When he got it home and washed it, he realised that it had writing on it and to find out whether he had found something valuable, he took it to his good friends, amateur historians Baran Blackheart and Callan Titwit (world-famous authors of "Britain's True History from Authentic Documents" and discoverers of the Holy Grail, grave of King Arthur and the Ark of the Covenant all within walking distance of their little town in South Wales). Realising at once the true significance of the object and where it was found, the two instructed him to take it to the Potable Antiquities Scheme (PAS) to claim his reward.

 The region's Finds Liaison Officer Fionella Sloan-Squarre says "when Mr Tussle showed me what he'd got in his trouser pocket, I was flabbergasted. It is not every day that you see such a valuable item - historically, that is. I immediately phoned my bosses in London to inform them". Mr Tussle was disappointed to learn that despite the value of the find, which is purely historical, because the find is not gold or silver nor a hoard, he is not entitled to a reward. "It's not a about the money", he smiled wryly.

What Mr Tussle had found metal detecting in the southwest corner of the walled Roman town at Caerleon is what is known as a "papal bull". It is a lead seal that was placed on documents issued by the Papal Chancellery in and sent to dignitaries of the early Church. The representations on one side of two saints show St Paul and St Peter with the inscription SPA[ul] SPE[eter]. The reverse bearing the name of the issuer is what excited Blackheart and Titwit . It bears the name of ELEVTHERIVS, followed by the numeral "I" and the title PP [pontifex].

 As Ms Sloan-Squarre explained, reliable historians such as Geoffrey of Monmouth make reference to an early mission to England sent by a Pope Eleutherus to King Lucius of Britain. William of Malmesbury records that he sent SS. Fugatius and Damianus (rather Dumianus or Duvianus) over to Britain. These missionaries baptized King Lucius and many others, and "the Britons enjoyed the light of faith in peace till the reign of Diocletian". Lucius therefore was the first Christian king in Europe.

 The problem is Bede (Hist. l. 1. c. 4) dates the mission to 167 when there was no Pope Eleutherus in Rome. The pontif in that year was Anicetus (150-167) and foreign historians say he was followed by Soter whose short pontificate was followed by that of Saint Eleuterus (Greek: Ελευθέριος), much later than the historical date of the conversion of Lucius. On these grounds, professional historians have attacked the validity of these earliest records of The True British History. Now, this new discovery rewrites history. It seems there were in fact two Popes called Eleutherius, the first of which was the one to whom Lucius had sent his embassy in 167, but he had later been written out of history in an effort to hide The True British History which made Britain the earliest Christian nation in Europe.

What is more, Blackheart and Titwit explain, the findspot shows that the Pope was sending letters to the bishops of Lucius in Caerleon, not London - so probably during the Roman occupation of the eastern parts of the Island, this small town now in Wales was the capital of all of Britain at the time.

Ms Sloan Squarre stresses that it seems once again, in partnership with the PAS, the discovery of an amateur proves the so-called "experts" totally wrong. "In a year when we’re all celebrating what it means to be British, finds like this made by amateur searchers show how they can reveal the hidden events that have shaped our past and made our great nation what we are today".

It is interesting to note that coins or medals of King Lucius were recorded by early collectors, such as one mentioned by Archbishop Usher (Antiq. Britain, c. 3, p. 22. Guthrie, Hist. of England, b. 1. ), and one by the French connoisseur Bouterue. They had been disregarded as fakes by professional historians but the discovery of the Caerleon Eletherius I bull suggests we should look at the issue of their authenticity again. The problem is nobody knows what has happened to these privately-owned items, they never made it down the ages to a public collection. No bulls of (Saint) Eleutherius II have so far been discovered, Mr Tussle is out in the fields of South Wales looking for them now.

UPDATE:
to better understand the context of this text, note that it was posted on April 1st (April Fool's Day). OK, too long and involved to be funny - better luck next year.

Photo: Potable Antiquities Scheme

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Custard Pie Attack on Antique Figure

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I am a great admirer of the work of arts blogger Percy Flarge, who has appealed to kindred spirits:
Man defaces priceless masterpiece in senseless custard pie attack Please be good enough to tweet, face, blog and otherwise circulate. Our investors are pressuring us to build up the readership to "grow shareholder value".
Done, Sir Percy.

(just in case this is being read by a Armenian hermit living in a cave in a forest who does not get the point of the text, Wendi can be seen in glorious action here)
 
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