Collectors' Corner: Citizen Archaeologist, "If you think this is not a real artifact, you are a fool"

Seller paleolithicplateau (98) from Hardy, Arkansas, United States is pretty sure about her identification of this piece of stone as an artefact and what it means ('HAND AXE genuine with documentation Paleolithic Prehistory Artifact')

If you don't think this is a genuine unmodified by modern man artifact then you're a fool and should buy a fake. This is a magnificent multi use tool. It is a mixer and or paint pot, a scraper as seen in chert on the lower left hand side, a sharpener also on the left side above the scraper and a hammer stone/crusher/pounder. And it is Effigy of Man. What is paramount to know is that it fits into the hand so snugly that a sheet of paper can barely make it through. Every fold of the palm fits like a glove. There are hafted grooves for the thumb and fingers. The hafted base is darkened from skin oils. It is genuine.

Paleolithic , Neolithic or so called "cave men" aka Early Man walked the karst topography of the Ozark Plateau so many years ago. He used the rocks stones shells bone and wood for implements to crush, shape, mix that which sustained him.
There are no signs that he used arrows as the Indian of the 17th 18th and 19th century did.
There are no signs that he was violent toward others so there are no war clubs .
But they were afraid of something as seen in the countless Effigy Stones of what I call "Man Aghast" which depicts the open mouth and wide eyed look of fright.
This is depicted in all different rock types and in all sizes.
Early Man also made stone Zoomorphic figures. Here on the Ozark Plateau it was Turtle Duck Fish and Lizard which is what was the food source along with nuts (Hickory Walnut etc.) and berries and fruits (Persimmon etc) as well as grasses roots and grains.

As many of us know, we have been lied to about our history, the Earth and just about everything else.
So called 'Science' absolutely refuses to acknowledge a Divine Intelligence that Created All Life.
Evolution is still taught in schools!
Man is Man and Ape is Ape.
I have sold the stone tools that I have found all over the world to museums and schools as well as private collectors and all of them have been scientifically tested. I guarantee their authenticity and offer a 30 day return. The exact location of where this tool was found will be included. Thank-you!
Provenance: Ownership History Available

And of course those 'Early man' skin oils are still preserved because the earth was made in seven days beginning on October 23, 4004 BC. The descriptions of her ('Susan') other artefacts runs in a similar vein (such as this one, a 'CHERT & SANDSTONE PESTLE GRINDER BIRD STONE TOOL Ancient Artifact'):

This is a class or grouping or collection or cache or bunch of or period of tools of early man which are almost exclusively made from Chert which is like flint in that it is a very hard stone and becomes sharp when broken hafted knapped whacked off and Sandstone. It is uncleaned and found as is. Hasn't been all "dolled up" or fake polished. You know, it amazes me the "artifacts" that I see on Ebay. One would think that those who lived before us and without electricity that had to find and hunt down then prepare their own food and do all the essentials of life using just rocks, would have a much broader amount of implements.(which they did) So you'd think that there would be more than... arrowheads, grooved axes, bannerstones and the occasional gorget. But that is all you see on Ebay. Can you imagine if we were shown as being so simplistic? That the future people thought that we didn't possess more than a hammer, saw and wrench? And only one type of wrench? So please ,do you really think that all you see on Ebay is all there is? And the exorbitant prices charged. How elitist. Pricing something so high that it puts it out of reach for those that want to hold a piece of way back history in their hand is just greedy selfish and f-cked up. So, let's go over some quick facts.
Darwin was wrong
Smithsonian is a big fat liar
Earth was not created by the banging of two rocks together. aka the Big Bang
Not all stone tool implements are highly stylized.. No time for that, they just needed a rock which would do the job, crush a nut, strip a reed, sharpen another rock, mix together some stuff be it paint or medicine, scrap a hide, clean a finger nail, sew a garment and the biggie, Start Fire!! Go on go try to start a fire with just what you find on the ground.

That said, I have been collecting and artifact hunting for over 12 years now and have amassed hundreds of ancient stone tools which I know intimately and love every single one. They line every bookcase, tabletop and railing around me. I have effigy scrapers that sit next to my printer and when I put paper in I stop and admire them for the one hundredth time. Shoot I have a translucent bear effigy knife sitting on my laptop as I write this, and although I found him years ago I took it off the shelf to gaze in wonderment once again. And I am gonna' start listing many of them. For if they can give to someone else the sense of awe and joy that they give me, all the better. Funny but true, I actually say goodbye to the stone tool artifacts that I sell and miss them! If you have gotten this far in my ranting then you must be cool and know what I'm talking about.
S
I guarantee that all I list is unaltered by modern man, is not a fluke of nature, will pass any and all scientific testing because they are what they are authentic artifacts of those who walked before us. I have sold to museums, schools and private collectors worldwide. All are found on private land.

In reality, the photos show an odd-shaped (but naturally shaped) cobble.

I think the point about this is, this is what historiography of collectors looks like. These are not 'citizen archaeologists', they are misinformed fantasists utilising a 'it looks like' pseudo-methodology to interpret the objects they have found or otherwise got their hands on. This is coupled with a self-delusion of their own 'common sense' abilities that trumps those of the experts (the familiar 'who needs experts?') who are seen here as not only mistaken, but also elitists and liars. This is 'karaoke antiquitism' where in the absence of academic scruitiny, checks and need for any form of substantiation, 'anything goes' and often does. It seems to me that archaeologists that let this pass with a shrug of the shoulders, and not only tolerate and condone artefact collecting, but even encourage it, are missing the emergence of an important phenomenon, a public that has no idea of the difference between real archaeology and fake archaeology - and actually does not care. If that is the result, then questions may be asked whether we need the (more expensive) real archaeology at all. Why bother if everyone can just pick up a stone that 'hefts' well, and make up their own fantastic story about the past. There are many 'stone fondling fantasisers' like this on on ebay. Not only are they putting stuff like this up with their fulsome narrativisation, they are finding many other members of the public that are not only listening and buying them, but then posting comments full of exultant praise of the seller and the artefact they have come to own to display to their friends and families - spreading the stories.