So let us get behind the British Museum and help it in its heroic quest to provide a safe haven for the cultural treasures arriving in the west by the lorry-load from the ravaged lands of the Middle East. If the British Museum were to build a partnership with ISIS along similar lines to those it has forged with the desert kingdoms of Abu Dhabi, Dubai and Qatar [and metal detectorists PMB], a safe home could be provided for the multitude of cultural treasures currently being ripped wholesale from the ancient temples and sites of Iraq and Syria. After all, these objects will anyway be rendered meaningless if seen anywhere else in the world other than in the British Museum, just as the museum’s existing collections cannot be properly understood outside Bloomsbury. This is the power of the Universal Museum bequeathed to us by our Enlightenment forefathers. And so to summarise, please join me in celebrating the true function of the British Museum — to bring light where there is darkness, to foster understanding where there is ignorance, to protect and conserve where others destroy, to explain where others seek to obfuscate, and to celebrate the glorious imperial past of this sceptred isle where no material object or artefact has any meaning or significance unless it is enshrined within the British Museum.I think the same satirical sentiments could be expressed about the LAVA-PAS.